Thriving in the Gap

When I step back and close my eyes and think about all that has transpired this year in my personal and professional life, there is a theme that emerges like a neon sign shining through the density of neural activity in my brain: I was constantly managing and finding my way through the tension between what is (reality) and what could be/should be (potential/ideal). I saw that I was not alone in this. Everyone I speak to is, and has been, trying to make the best of where they are with what they have and still trying to move the ball in the direction of their ideal state of being for themselves, their business, their relationships, etc.  What can happen, though, if we're not adept at managing in the gap between Reality and Possibility/Ideal? What does taking either one of those to the extreme look like?

When you take Realism to the next level it morphs into a deteriorative cynicism that masquerades as "I'm just being real". Cynicism is a dark and sneaky sort. It seeks to make others feel stupid and inept for believing that things could be or should be better. Cynics (we all know some) are easy to spot. They are the ones sitting usually in the back of the room with their cohorts whispering to each other and shaking their heads when some poor sole has the guts (or in their mind naivite) to stand up and talk about possibilities, new ideas, hope, and enthusiasm. "Poor guy", they say, "he just doesn't get it." Cynics don't want it to work out. They want to see you fail so they can feel secure in their cynicism and don't have to take a risk and step out of that mood that is driven by their chosen mindset. Mind you they are not to be confused with skeptics, their distant cousin.

Skeptics you need and want. They differ from cynics in that they truly want it to work out. They are your eyes and ears and objective minds who see the potential pitfalls and what ifs. They are vital to good, whole-brained decision-making. They tend to get a bad rap though because the minute they open their mouths to draw attention to how things could go wrong they are branded as "downers, cynics, raining on the parade, etc.". Lest the enthusiasts run away with the show, skeptics should have a rightful and valued place in any team. Talk to them and see where their thoughts are. If they are excited and believe in the direction and want to see the idea, project, etc. work and are just airing their views so nothing
gets in its way, then you've probably got a skeptic, not a cynic on board. Their views and warnings may slow things down so you can check them out or rework them but it will be worth it in the end if you want sustainable results. Keep the skeptics. Cynics, get rid of them.

On the other side is Possibility/Ideal. If you flip out on that side you end up in a "lost in space" realm with no direction or connection to what is relevant. Way too much time is wasted talking about extraneous possibilities. These are people who just put stuff out there because it's cool (to them) and are not focused enough on the relevant aspects of the discussion, needs, direction and vision. The raging idealists are also people you must be aware of if they are on your team. Yes, they can do a massive brain dump of ideas which at some point may be useful however, they can steamroll a team in the wrong and useless direction if not managed well.

So, what we need to be skillful at is operating in the gap between Reality and Possiblity/Idealism; What is and what could or should be. This is where the action is and dialog should be. Being in the gap does not mean you cannot innovate. On the contrary. You can think out of the box and still be in this gap. So make the most of the diversity of thinking that you have around you. Who are those folks who seem to always cut right through everything and ask the right questions that almost everyone else misses? Who is that person who keeps their eye on the financial ball? Who is that person who can take everyone's idea and create a new concept or approach that no one else sees? Who is that person who is great at facilitating this kind of discourse so that you can come to closure and yet not cut off good dialog prematurely?

Learn to dance in this gap without getting trigger happy so that you flip out on either side. It is when we take an integrated approach to our challenges that the best solutions emerge.

What could this approach do for you in 2010?

Cool Links

If you're into Twitter for your business or are still wondering what it's all about and what value it could serve, read this article from this month's Inc. and ponder. http://www.inc.com/twitter/index.html

Staying connected - even if you're not an entrepreneur with your own business, this article is relevant seeing as we're all juggling so much and can be immersed in world's of "getting by" and "making it happen". Sometimes we forget to touch the hands and hearts of those who mean the most to us...our spouses and partners.  http://tinyurl.com/ylauwy3

And this site is only for those minds who enjoy twisted humor. http://www.despair.com .  Just go there and it will become clear to you what they're all about.  You know those posters you see in offices that have a think black matting around a picture with the word TEAMWORK under it and then some inspirational saying underneath the word TEAMWORK? Well think of this site as anti-inspirational but in a very sarcastic funny way. As 7-Up billed themselves as the un-cola, these people are the un-inspirational...with a smirk.

In Case You Missed It Last Month

Some folks told me they couldn't open this link in my newsletter last month. This has to do with sound and how powerful it is. Check out this 5-minute TED video to understand how it impacts business more than you think. http://tinyurl.com/ygkvbqv

Great Reads

Leadership and Self-Deception - also get the self-study guide which is sold separately on the same page where this link takes you. http://tinyurl.com/63m56h .  It's a great investment for you and your team, family, board of directors, etc. I have taken the course and it is very powerful and transformational and the learning sticks as much as you put into it.

Need a laugh? Okay I know this sounds "out there" but this book had me laughing out loud in the store. Cake Wrecks by Jen Yates. She is a very clever writer with a sarcastic wit and also very giving. She and her husband have made Cake Wrecks their business now and are donating $200/day for the next 14 days to a different charity each day. Check out their site at  http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/